Depression is not inextricably linked to winter for me. I have a lot of love and joy attached to Christmas, my family, my son, New Year’s Eve celebrations, my sister’s birthday, and so many other things. Three of my favorite holidays (Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day) fall into this part of the year. I love the glisten of holiday lights, the magical float of snow in the air, the crisp in my lungs and breathing the hot air out like a dragon’s smoke.
I know the above paragraph sounds really sugary and imaginary, like I’m discounting pain, hardship, or other things that happened in my past over the holidays. Working on Christmas or Thanksgiving, my mother’s death, days away from Christmas, other little petty dramas (and a few big ones) linked to this magical season. Dwelling on the darkness gives it power, acknowledging that they happened and moving on is forgiveness, or healing – or both. Knowing that some things cannot be fixed is half the path to moving on.
Working on the holidays isn’t so bad, it’s time and a half. I have a Christmas book with notes on how to prepare for the holidays, hand-written by my mom. (I can’t believe how quickly this year has gone by, is it really November? Pinch me. Please.) This is the perfect time of year to ignore whatever petty anxieties have been sneaking into the blood, and shake them loose. Good luck with yours. I’ll take all the luck I can get with mine.
I may never be perfect, but at least I feel like I’m going to be okay. Maybe eventually. I hope.
Unless I post something else before the holidays really kick into gear, this is my seasonal wish to you:
Wherever the hell you are, whatever you celebrate, don’t be afraid to let the sparkle wash over you once in a while. It’s not a bad thing to drink it all in, catch a snowflake on your tounge, hum along to a familiar seasonal melody, and share a coffee with a friend. Blessings. (VBT)